Friday, December 23, 2011

Pantong Beach, 5 reasons to come, and to not come.

I was only in Patong for 36 hours, but here is my rough take on the place.  Basically, its another town in Asia developed to let tourists get drunk and make an arse of themselves...  Starting with the negative and finishing on the positive!

5 reasons to not come to Patong

1./  Bogans.
They are everywhere here. Just, no.  Why must you get obscenely drunk and yell at people from your tuk tuk?

2./  Vendors hocking their wares.
This was SO FRUSTRATING!!!  I even got my cranky on at one person who tried to get me to eat at his establishment and wouldn't take "No, thank you. We just ate".  He proceeded to step in front of me and flip his menu in open to show me his selection.  You will also get harassed to purchase DVDs, tailored suits, bags, hot hair balloons, even fireworks.  On that, we were actually continually harassed by someone who had his suit shop in the hotel - annoying to get back "home" and still be continuously harassed (though the hotel was pretty good)

3./  The bar strip
Its pretty seedy, to be honest. I like to party, I do. But it was just a bit much.  Lots of dance music, girls on poles in the street, plenty of drunk old fat westerners, lady boys.

4./ Lady boys.
Nuff said.

5./  Generally very busy and noisy.
Its a party place, but in a bad way.... Like Kuta.

5 reasons to come to Patong

1./ It's cheap
There is a reason why so many bogans come here.  Cheap booze and plenty of it.  Just about anything goes.

2./ Tailors are everywhere.
While I think they are probably better in Bangkok, you can easily find a good tailor who can make you a few suits, shirts and the like for very cheap prices.  A number of places offer packages of 2-3 suits, with shirts and ties for between 200-300 USD. Everything made to fit, of course.

3./  Bacardi Breezer's and Shmirnoff Ice
I don't like either of these drinks. They give you hangovers that make you feel like you are going to have a heart attack.  But when they cost $1.50 and you can get them from every mini mart they make great roadies or pick ups for some quiet room/balcony bevies!!!

4./  Cheap massages
While this is definitely not unique to Patong, there is an abundance of massages from around 7 bucks for an hour.  Thai massages will kill you, but you feel great afterwards.  (On a side note, my li'l bro's friend got an added extra for 3 bucks. Bargain if you're interested I say!!)

5./  Fireworks
You can buy they off the street and set them off on the beach yourself.  Even massive ones that sound like cannons!!! The vendors are annoying, but setting off the firework..."f*cking BANG!"

Until next time,


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