Bangkok - A Mojito as big as my head.

While in Bangkok I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend of mine, Cherry. Cherry and I went  on exchange together to the United States 12 years ago and hadn't seen each other since.  We went to some local eating stalls and had some incredible Thai food before heading to Salt, a bar/restaurant.  This place served HUGE Mojitos. I mean huge. The glasses they come in are bigger than Hoegarden glasses!! Just. Massive.  Anyway I decided to have one, because something that large needs to be conquered.  However, unfortunately they had run out of glasses so they asked me if it was ok to serve it in an ice bucket... of course it was!!!  

Pretty good mojito!!

Cherry inspecting my "glass".

Cherry and her partner, Saritpon

Was great to see her again.  She is one of those people that when you sit down and talk to, it feels like no time has past!!

Until tomorrow, AUSTRALIA DAY!!!

Daniel

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Things in Bangkok - Great Palace

Sorry I have been online for a few days! I have been busy starting up a business with a friend of mine and for a few days have been locked in my hotel room researching and preparing for a meeting, which coincidently, went very well!!

However, after a day and a half locked in my room in Bangkok I decided that there was no way I wasn't going to see some of the city.  So I ventured out and headed to the Grand Palace, and reclining buddha (post on Reclining Buddha here).

I have to say, I was pretty awestruck when I first saw the Grand Palace.  I was a bit hesitant to go see it as there are many temples and shrines in Asia and one can get tired of them but I was amazed at this palace.  This is the sort of place that Donald Trump wishes his place could look like - a palace covered with gold, mirror and coloured glass mosaics.  Except somehow you don't think "tacky" when you see it done in Asia.  When Trump just does tacky - very, very well.

The Grand Palace is located in old Bangkok.  You need to get a tuk-tuk or taxi there as the sky train doesn't go that far, though alternatively you can also take a boat/ferry as it is by the river.  I did try to get scammed about three times by people coming up in "tourist police" uniforms asking what I was doing, responding in shock when I said the Grand Palace as "it closes at 1 o'clock, but if you take a tuk-tuk you can see other places".  They then proceed to take you to other shrines etc but stop off at a place on the way, usually a jewellery store and say they are out of fuel, so you may as feel look at the store while the driver gets fuel.  The driver then gets paid for bring you to the store, and you don't get to see the Palace.  I however did not fall for said scam or plastic identity badge, how cynical of me, and we inside and saw the palace. 

I just thought I would leave you with some of my favourite photo's from the day for you to enjoy! :) 

The dragon below has a ball in it;s mouth, it is said to be good luck if you can remove it from its mouth.  Impossible, I tried!  And I am pretty strong! ;)

Until next time,

Daniel

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Things in Bangkok - Reclining Buddha has nipples....

After the Grand Palace (see post here) I made my way to the Reclining Buddha. This is a must see, even if just to ask yourself how/why they put such a piss-off big buddha in such a small teeny room? Well, in comparison anyway.  OH and get this, the Buddha has nipples!!  Seriously!! And just quietly, I think the buddha may be a little chilly!  But then, the buddha does have a butt. Not joking, he has no butt whatsoever!! Just sayin'!!!

The giant Reclining Buddha... and his erect nipple.

Buddha has a one cheek flat bum!!

This isn't the building the Buddha was in, but it was pretty.

Doesn't this statue look like it could come alive and kill you with mystical kung fu powers?  Creepy.

Sexual Harassment Buddha says STOP to nipple perving!! 

And so does all his sexual harassment buddha friends!  

Until next time,

Daniel

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How to make shakes which are better than sex

I think I have completely fallen in love with the fruit shakes here in Asia. Honestly, the shakes in Asia are to die for... TO. DIE. FOR!  I could be told I would never be able to have sex again and if I had one of these shakes instead, I wouldn't be sad...

The main four shakes are watermelon, mango, pineapple and banana.

Mango/Pineapple/Watermelon shakes:

Half a mango/some pineapple/some watermelon depending on which you prefer
a shot (30mls) of sugar syrup
a cup of ice cubes
2 shots of malibu or something else to spice it up (optional, but recommended) ;)

(you could use some milk in this recipe if you wanted, but I prefer without, and they are usually made that way)

Put in a blender and blend

Banana shakes:
one banana
a splash of milk

a shot (30mls) of sugar syrup

a cup of ice cubes

Put in a blender and blend

Perfect for summer and VERY healthy!!

Enjoy!!!

Until next time,

Daniel

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My Yoga Retreat - Koh Samui

I'm shattered.  As I write this I am lying in my bed, about to take a nap, thoroughly exhausted.  Over the last 6 days I have done over 11 hours of yoga and I've been on a pretty strict diet.

About a week ago I took out a one week unlimited pass to Absolute Yoga, Koh Samui's premier yoga retreat.  The retreat is 5 star, has its own bar (non-alcoholic and smoke free), infinity pool, massage and health centre and is designed much like a moroccan village.  The villas are a rich turmeric like colour which is completely different to anything else on Koh Samui, which I have seen anyway.  The retreat offers a variety of packages, but most revolve around either the yoga sessions or the detox program. There are about four yoga classes a day, in different styles, and a meditation/breathing session.  They also have 3 detox programs going on.  The ultimate Cleanse, a vegetarian detox and I think the other one was a liver cleanse... not sure.

Anyway, after checking the prices, I just wanted the yoga.  A full week on the detox program and the yoga was 45,000 THB, about 1,500 dollars.  An unlimited pass to the yoga classes is only 2000 THB.... you do the maths.  Also, I used Noi to get me a great deal at a 5 star villa, I used a private taxi (more expensive than the public ones) AND I ate at my 5 star restart restaurant instead of their astoundingly expensive restaurant and I managed to get the overall cost down to about 50% of what they were charging.  So you could easily get it down less than that if you wanted to stay and eat somewhere cheaper.

But anyway, the yoga.  I am about as flexible as a dried stick.  My health otherwise is quite good.  I normally eat quite well and exercise a few times a week.  I just can't touch my toes to save my life.  I haven't been able to properly cross my legs since I was 12... I can't do downward dog, or twist around so I look like a pretzel... something most of the other people in the class seem to be able to do with little difficulty..  In fact, I was so bad I had cushions placed around me to get me into the right position so I could feel the stretch it was a bit frustrating, especially when I had to move in and out of poses, and use the downward dog as the "rest pose"... I had to move all the cushions do the poses quickly to keep up, then back into the next pose... and more cushions...

Actually, that's probably a little exaggerated, but I did find some of the poses quite difficult, even with the help of said implements. Actually, I speak no word of a lie here, during one of the classes I ended up sliding along the floor... wait for it... on my shoulders... it gets better... with my feet touching the floor..and the corker... until I hit a mirror.  I was so sweaty I slid about 2 metres across the floor on my head!!! Embarrassing much??  :)

I have to say though, after six days my body does feel much better. I actually do feel more limber, I have lost about 2 kgs this week, and my body looks better.

Here are some freaky things I learned about myself, or yoga.

1./  Some of them do absolutely insane "cleansing" rituals.  No joke, one of my teachers had swallowed a rag, with a bit in his mouth, left it for half an hour, then pulled in back out again.  WTF?????   Oh, and something else, e said he had seen people swallow things, long rags I guess, leaving some in the mouth until it came out the other end and they pulled it ALL THE WAY THROUGH THEIR BODY!!!! That's filthy!!!

2./  Apparently, if you have high knees when you sit upright and bring your feet into your crotch it means you are holding in a lot of emotion from either this life or past ones, which has been traumatic.  Yeah, that upper middle class life was TOUGH!

3./  I can easily sweat out a litre of fluid in an hour and a half.  My yoga mat and towel were disgusting.

4./  Not all yoga teachers are hot... or even sane... but they are fun!

But, at the end of the day I highly recommend the experience.  I was trying to use my pass as much as possible so did quite a few classes which probably wore me out more than most, but I do feel great for it.  So whether you book and stay at Absolute Yoga, or somewhere else and just get a weekly pass it worth doing.

Until next time,

Daniel

Rainy day blues!

It's bucketing down today in Koh Samui! I'm not sure why I'm so surprised.  TGhe forecast has been gloomy for weeks but the rains have finally come.  So instead of going out and trying to see things I'm spending the day in my hotel.  I think I'll do a little writing, a little planning for the week and I had the idea to watch the entire Godfather trilogy.  Well, that was until I saw how long they are. Godfather one and two are at least 3 hours long!!! I'm not going to lie.  The copies I had MAY not be pirated, but... oh, who am I kidding, the bloke who sold them to me may as well have had a wooden leg and a parrot on his shoulder!!  I never realised they were so long though!!  Bloody hell!

But I always think a day spent a hotel is a day wasted. I love getting out, doing things and meeting people.

So, aside from being a vegetable, I am progressing my fitness regime.  Yes, I am determined to get back in shape even if I am travelling!  I have put on about 6 kgs since I left Perth... SIX!!  And I have definitely lost muscle so I have probably put on more fat than that.  So, I'm cutting the boost, detoxing, checking into a yoga retreat and I've contacted my old trainer for some "low equipment" workouts, since hotel gyms can be quite bare.

But my question for you is, what do you like to do on rainy days either on holidays or in general.

Oh, and any fitness tips for while travelling?  Let me know and if I like them I'll put them in my next post!

Comment below or on Facebook.

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Until next time,

Daniel

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6 things from Asia to laugh at - toilet humour! :)

OK, it's giggle time.

I'm pro... whatever pro you need to be to support everyone being able to do what they want.  Doesn't mean I can't laugh at you though!

Not hilarious, but always makes me smile, this girl had just noticed herself on my camera display and couldn't stop laughing! 

Just in case you were thinking it was ok to use a urinal to wash your hands... it not, apparently...

 And this is weirder than the last. What the? I'm NOT allowed to clean my shoes or take a shower with the toilet hose??  Kill joys!

 At first I thought this meant no sex in the taxi van.  But then Monisha pointed out it obviously meant no HETRO sex in the van.  Of course!  :-/

At first, I thought this was a really nasty derogatory t-shirt and was thinking, "man, you allow gays to have sex in vans but then say gays cause AIDS... that's really mean!".  On second look though I figured out what it meant.  Sex standing up causes AIDS.  Makes sense, I guess.  Or maybe spanking causes AIDS... I dunno.

Hope that gave you a chuckle before the weekend.

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My final supper!

Contrary to popular belief, since I have begun travelling I actually have been packing on the kilo's like it's no one else's business! So last night I decided, that even though I am travelling, I need to cut out some of the excessive living and get my healthy on!!

To make sureI went out with a bang, last night I was talking to a friend back home who also digs his food and we picked out a room service meal for kings! Then I went to the hotel restaurant to eat because I  think there is nothing more depressing than ordering room service unless its a)breakfast, b)really late or c)you've been drinking ( oh come on, who isn't craving wok fried egg noodles after a night out!!!)

So, I wondered down to the beach restaurant, sat in a day bed and promptly ordred the below.  It was SOOOO  good!!

 To start with, cognac flavoured crab bisque, garnished with crab meta and served with pizza bread.

 Fried fillet of sea bass with white wine, caper and shrimp butter, served with sautéed zucchini and vegetables. 

A side of wedges 

Kahlua and chocolate flavoured mousse.  I'm not even apologising.... I enjoyed this with an espresso martini.

The net gain of my caffeine saturated dessert was that I couldn't sleep til 5 and I missed my morning yoga.  Fitness fail.  But screw it, it was worth it!!

What say you? Do you have any cheeky dishes you occasionally indulge in?

Let me know!

Until next time,

Daniel

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The Queen of Koh Samui

I have met the Queen of Koh Samui.  Not only is she the Queen of Koh Samui, she is one of the coolest most hospitable and loveliest people I have met! I love her!  This lady knows EVERYONE on this island and is more than happy to help you out should you need it.

Noi is the owner of the Gecko Club in the hills of Bophut, Koh Samui.  Once owners of the Gecko Club on Bophut Beach, Noi and Gary sold up and  moved up into the hills of Bophut for a bit of a more quieter scene and sweeping views of the island and ocean.  Can't really argue with these views can you?

View from the Gecko Club (stolen from their Facebook page!)

Noi met Dan (not me, the other Dan) in Ibiza many years ago, has helped us (being myself, Dan and Kim) do so much in and around the island its been incredible.Not only has she organised us with an awesome driver who wasn't going to rip us off, and told us the best places to see on the island, she also helped us get price reductions on anything we did. For example, I am currently staying in a 5 star hotel room which I am getting for less than $100 a night. That is reduced from the standard price of about US$400  a night, and it was about $240 on Agoda.com.  She also talked down the price of our own private speed boat when going to Koh Phangan, auditioned some DJ's for the full moon party, and other clubs on the island, and got us "Noi prices" when we went out.  This is a someone everyone who comes to the island needs to know and her club is definately a place you need to visit for a day. Lie down, and just chill out at. Really, make sure you visit her club and try some of her fruit shakes and her home made food. Her fish chicken soup and Beef massaman are to die for.

To get there, take the second right after the Bophut traffic lights at the Old Monkey Theatre Soi, and follow the orange flags and yellow signs.  Its 300 metres to the right after the golf course.

Facebook page is here.

Visit, chill out, make friends and enjoy Samui!!

Until next time,

Daniel

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Muay Thai (Thai boxing) - Koh Samui

I got me a free muay thai lesson!!

Muay thai, the national thai sport, is a martial art which is also known as the "art of eight limbs" or the "science of eight links" as it incorporates the use of strikes and blows from hands and feet, as well as elbows and knees.  Hence eight limbs as opposed to only feet or hands and feet used by most other fighting styles!

What I looked like, in my head!

While at the Gecko Club, I met a girl, Vivi, who was being trained by one of the muay thai masters here in Thailand and she offered to give me a quick lesson! :)

Yes, I totally got my arse kicked by a girl!  :)

It was actually really hard.  Not that I'm the best fighter in the world. I'm not.  Actually, the last time I was in a fight I got taken out in one punch and ended up with two stitches in my face. (Seriously, I did).  Well, actually, he was twice my size and I wasn't even looking at him when he hit me. So you couldn't call it a fight as much as a cheep shot from someone who didn't think I was funny when I'm drunk.  Honestly, I'm hilarious when I'm drunk.  Anybody who doesn't think I'm funny when I'm drunk is a douche.  He was obviously a douche. I mean, he hit someone half his size when they weren't even looking.  Douche. I hope he see's this.  He's some 'roided up idiot from Sydney who wears shirts too small for him and he doesn't have a neck.  I bet he has a small willy too...from all his roids!  HAHAHA  He's a douche with no neck and a small willy!!

Really, I am SO funny when drunk, I promise. :)  But wow, I'm digressing.

The stance was the hardest thing to get my head around.  You need to put your chin against your shoulder and hunch like an old man... for the whole time... (I'm actually not standing correctly in the photographs below).  It all got a bit too confusing after about 15 minutes and my masseuse arrived... and I get massages better than I throw punches, so I did that instead.

 And this is how you punch...

"Like this?"  "Yes, but punch like you mean it!!" 

"Like this???"

Folklore

The most popular folklore regarding muay boran is that of Nai Khanomtom.

At the time of the fall of the ancient Siam capital of Ayutthaya in 1767, the invading Burmese troops rounded up thousands of Thais and took them to Burma as prisoners. Among them were a large number of Thai kickboxers, who were taken to the city of Ava.

In 1774, in the Burmese city of Rangoon, the Burmese King Hsinbyushin (known in Thai as "King Mangra") decided to organize a seven-day, seven-night religious festival in honor of Buddha's relics. The festivities included many forms of entertainment, such as the costume plays called likay, comedies and farces, and sword-fighting matches. At one point, King Hsinbyushin wanted to see how muay boran would compare to the Burmese art lethwei. Nai Khanomtom was selected to fight against the Burmese champion. The boxing ring was set up in front of the throne and Nai Khanomtom did a traditional Wai Kru pre-fight dance, to pay his respects to his teachers and ancestors, as well as the spectators, dancing around his opponent. This amazed and perplexed the Burmese people, who thought it was black magic. When the fight began, Nai Khanomtom charged out, using punches, kicks, elbows, and knees to pummel his opponent until he collapsed.

However the Burmese referee said the Burmese champion was too distracted by the dance, and declared the knockout invalid. The King then asked if Nai Khanomtom would fight nine other Burmese champions to prove himself. He agreed and fought them all, one after the other with no rest periods in between. His last opponent was a great kickboxing teacher from Rakhine. Nai Khanomtom mangled him by his kicks and no one else dared to challenge him.

King Mangra was so impressed that he allegedly remarked, "Every part of the Thai is blessed with venom. Even with his bare hands, he can fell nine or ten opponents. But his Lord was incompetent and lost the country to the enemy. If he would have been any good, there was no way the City of Ayutthaya would ever have fallen."

King Mangra granted Nai Khanomtom freedom along with either riches or two beautiful Burmese wives. Nai Khanomtom chose the wives as he said that money was easier to find. He then departed with his wives for Siam. Other variations of this story had him also winning the release of his fellow Thai prisoners. His feat is celebrated every March 17 as Boxer's Day or National Muay Boran Day in his honor and that of muay boran's.

Today, some have wrongly attributed the legend of Nai Khanomtom to King Naresuan, who spent his youth as a royal hostage in Burma while Ayutthaya was a Burmese vassal. However, Nai Khanomtom and King Naresuan were almost two centuries apart.

Until next time,

Daniel

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Snorkelling and Wake Boarding - Koh Phangan

Yesterday, Noi, from the Gecko Club, Dan and Kim arranged for me to go on a day boat trip to Koh Phangan (where the full moon party is held) with Noi and her newly acquired French DJ's.  The day was incredible the sights were brilliant.

Are you jealous?

We drove our speedboat past an Island which is used for harvesting bird nests for birds nest soup, a delicacy here in Thailand.  There were all these red flags on bouys and on the island.  Those red flags mean "If you come on this island we will shoot you".  SHOOT YOU!!! They can't be that nice!!! Imagine if we had red flags around our Tim Tam factories!!

Our first stop was at a really shallow reef where we were able to snorkel and check out some coral and fish.  The coolest bit was feeding the fish bread.  I kept breaking it up and spreading it around me.  The fish kept biting me in their efforts to grab a feed which tickled like buggery!

Feeding fish break in the waters off Koh Phangan

Afterwards, we decided to have an international wake boarding competition.  Australia, England, France and Italy!! England, represented by Kim, won, hands down, however the rest of us had zero experience wake boarding and Kim got up first go and pulled off some jump and 180's.  English sure do show off when the actually get around to winning something don't they!! ;)

Kim doing her victory lap!!!

Kim and I after her stella board!! :)

The afternoon was spent finding venues for our French Dj friends to play at.  We found the Kangeroo bar (on the same beach as the Full Moon Party) which was nice, and we enjoyed some of the local beverages before heading home early as 2 of french boys turned quite ill and we needed to get them home.

After the Kangeroo bar the boat ride home was incredible!! We skimmed across flat seas, in full moon light, clear skies with millions of stars, and coming into Bophut there were chinese lantern's sailing into the air and fireworks shooting off all over the beach.  Absolutely surreal! :)

Our French DJ's,  Axel, Guilliam and Tony, who we followed around the island!

How to get there:

From Koh Samui, you can catch a ferry to Koh Phangan, however we hired our own private boat which will cost you about 30,000 THB for the day, which includes use of snorkel gear (but bring your own fins) and wake board.  They will also wait for you until you are done to bring you home to Koh Phangan

It was one of the best afternoons ever!!  If you can afford it (share with your friends) definitely book a private boat.  It will allow you to see a lot really quickly and boats are just fun!!

Thanks to Dan and Kim and Noi for organising a brilliant day!!  Looking forward to some more parties in Europe with you and our new DJ friends!!! :)

Until next time,

Daniel

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Challenge accepted: DJ tryouts and living the high life!!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you've thought to yourself "how did this happen"?  Well that happened to me yesterday.  I met two friends of a mutual friend, who commented on a post a couple of days ago, at a club here and had an absolutely BRILLIANT TIME!

Dan and Kim left me a message on a post (here) after getting word that I was in town for a few days and invited me to one of their mutual friends' club, the Gecko Club in the hills of Bophet in Koh Samui.  Before I go further, a word of caution, if you are trying to find this place DO NOT go to the Gecko BAR! The Gecko BAR is a tacky little hole which is really a Japanese hooker bar. The Gecko CLUB is a premises in the hills of Bophet (the fishing village) which has a pool, and serves up great drinks, brilliant food, with some phat beats.  The club is really simple, but that is part of the charm, and the views are amazing.  The club looks out over what seems to be half the island.

Kim managed to take this snap by accident.  This pool had three levels and I didn't see the third one!! I ended up underwater fully clothed, but true to Aussie form kept my beer above water!!

After my accidental dunk!! AHahahah

As it turned out, the owner of the Gecko Club, Noi, has a son who is a DJ, and Noi is quite well known on the island, very quickly sorting me out a penthouse hotel room at a local hotel for a few nights! Cha-ching!! That day she also happened to be auditioning some french DJ's for a spot at ... wait for it... THE FULL MOON PARTY!!  So my afternoon was spent swimming, eating, drinking, lounging, and listening to top quality DJ's all afternoon!  (If you go there try the chicken soup or massaman. To. Die. For.) The DJ's were quite good too, I must say!  Noi liked them as well and after hearing them managed to get them a few gigs on the island.

Not a bad place to test out your DJ skills.  Our French DJ's auditioning for Noi.

To make things even more interesting, the DJ's are also making a documentary on their (The DJ's) touring around the world, and now that they are playing at the Full Moon Party tonight, guess who's going with them!!  Ch-YEAH I AM!!!  We have a private boat taking Noi, the DJ's, a film crew and Dan and Kim across tonight, but before that I have been invited to spend the day on the boat sight seeing around Koh Samui!  How lush!!!

Kim looking very at home!!

Anyway, these guys have planned a huge day for me, so I have to run!!

Until next time!

Daniel

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Elephant riding on Koh Samui

I rode an elephant.... and picked fruit.... and fed it!!!

I nearly fell off, but I'm too awesome for that!!!!

My driver picking some rambutan off the elephant! 

 Once I started feeding it, the elephant wouldn't put his trunk down!!!

It was scary!! But I didn't piss myself... MUCH!!!

Until next time,


Daniel

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Climbing waterfalls in Koh Samui!

I just added to my list of man-skillz: Conquering waterfalls!!!

OK, its not the biggest waterfall in the history of the planet, but it was still fun!!  I found this waterfall and my driver managed to catch a few snaps!!  I didn't have my boardies on me so you'll just have to deal with me in my undies!!  Secretly you love it!

 Harder than it looks, but climbing backwards was a bit easier!

 Secretly, this guy wanted to do this... and his girlfriend wanted him too as well.  He didn't. Sad faces all round really!  

Wasn't a bad afternoon!! What else should I conquer??

Until next time!!

Daniel

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