How to make shakes which are better than sex

I think I have completely fallen in love with the fruit shakes here in Asia. Honestly, the shakes in Asia are to die for... TO. DIE. FOR!  I could be told I would never be able to have sex again and if I had one of these shakes instead, I wouldn't be sad...

The main four shakes are watermelon, mango, pineapple and banana.

Mango/Pineapple/Watermelon shakes:

Half a mango/some pineapple/some watermelon depending on which you prefer
a shot (30mls) of sugar syrup
a cup of ice cubes
2 shots of malibu or something else to spice it up (optional, but recommended) ;)

(you could use some milk in this recipe if you wanted, but I prefer without, and they are usually made that way)

Put in a blender and blend

Banana shakes:
one banana
a splash of milk

a shot (30mls) of sugar syrup

a cup of ice cubes

Put in a blender and blend

Perfect for summer and VERY healthy!!

Enjoy!!!

Until next time,

Daniel

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My Yoga Retreat - Koh Samui

I'm shattered.  As I write this I am lying in my bed, about to take a nap, thoroughly exhausted.  Over the last 6 days I have done over 11 hours of yoga and I've been on a pretty strict diet.

About a week ago I took out a one week unlimited pass to Absolute Yoga, Koh Samui's premier yoga retreat.  The retreat is 5 star, has its own bar (non-alcoholic and smoke free), infinity pool, massage and health centre and is designed much like a moroccan village.  The villas are a rich turmeric like colour which is completely different to anything else on Koh Samui, which I have seen anyway.  The retreat offers a variety of packages, but most revolve around either the yoga sessions or the detox program. There are about four yoga classes a day, in different styles, and a meditation/breathing session.  They also have 3 detox programs going on.  The ultimate Cleanse, a vegetarian detox and I think the other one was a liver cleanse... not sure.

Anyway, after checking the prices, I just wanted the yoga.  A full week on the detox program and the yoga was 45,000 THB, about 1,500 dollars.  An unlimited pass to the yoga classes is only 2000 THB.... you do the maths.  Also, I used Noi to get me a great deal at a 5 star villa, I used a private taxi (more expensive than the public ones) AND I ate at my 5 star restart restaurant instead of their astoundingly expensive restaurant and I managed to get the overall cost down to about 50% of what they were charging.  So you could easily get it down less than that if you wanted to stay and eat somewhere cheaper.

But anyway, the yoga.  I am about as flexible as a dried stick.  My health otherwise is quite good.  I normally eat quite well and exercise a few times a week.  I just can't touch my toes to save my life.  I haven't been able to properly cross my legs since I was 12... I can't do downward dog, or twist around so I look like a pretzel... something most of the other people in the class seem to be able to do with little difficulty..  In fact, I was so bad I had cushions placed around me to get me into the right position so I could feel the stretch it was a bit frustrating, especially when I had to move in and out of poses, and use the downward dog as the "rest pose"... I had to move all the cushions do the poses quickly to keep up, then back into the next pose... and more cushions...

Actually, that's probably a little exaggerated, but I did find some of the poses quite difficult, even with the help of said implements. Actually, I speak no word of a lie here, during one of the classes I ended up sliding along the floor... wait for it... on my shoulders... it gets better... with my feet touching the floor..and the corker... until I hit a mirror.  I was so sweaty I slid about 2 metres across the floor on my head!!! Embarrassing much??  :)

I have to say though, after six days my body does feel much better. I actually do feel more limber, I have lost about 2 kgs this week, and my body looks better.

Here are some freaky things I learned about myself, or yoga.

1./  Some of them do absolutely insane "cleansing" rituals.  No joke, one of my teachers had swallowed a rag, with a bit in his mouth, left it for half an hour, then pulled in back out again.  WTF?????   Oh, and something else, e said he had seen people swallow things, long rags I guess, leaving some in the mouth until it came out the other end and they pulled it ALL THE WAY THROUGH THEIR BODY!!!! That's filthy!!!

2./  Apparently, if you have high knees when you sit upright and bring your feet into your crotch it means you are holding in a lot of emotion from either this life or past ones, which has been traumatic.  Yeah, that upper middle class life was TOUGH!

3./  I can easily sweat out a litre of fluid in an hour and a half.  My yoga mat and towel were disgusting.

4./  Not all yoga teachers are hot... or even sane... but they are fun!

But, at the end of the day I highly recommend the experience.  I was trying to use my pass as much as possible so did quite a few classes which probably wore me out more than most, but I do feel great for it.  So whether you book and stay at Absolute Yoga, or somewhere else and just get a weekly pass it worth doing.

Until next time,

Daniel

The Queen of Koh Samui

I have met the Queen of Koh Samui.  Not only is she the Queen of Koh Samui, she is one of the coolest most hospitable and loveliest people I have met! I love her!  This lady knows EVERYONE on this island and is more than happy to help you out should you need it.

Noi is the owner of the Gecko Club in the hills of Bophut, Koh Samui.  Once owners of the Gecko Club on Bophut Beach, Noi and Gary sold up and  moved up into the hills of Bophut for a bit of a more quieter scene and sweeping views of the island and ocean.  Can't really argue with these views can you?

View from the Gecko Club (stolen from their Facebook page!)

Noi met Dan (not me, the other Dan) in Ibiza many years ago, has helped us (being myself, Dan and Kim) do so much in and around the island its been incredible.Not only has she organised us with an awesome driver who wasn't going to rip us off, and told us the best places to see on the island, she also helped us get price reductions on anything we did. For example, I am currently staying in a 5 star hotel room which I am getting for less than $100 a night. That is reduced from the standard price of about US$400  a night, and it was about $240 on Agoda.com.  She also talked down the price of our own private speed boat when going to Koh Phangan, auditioned some DJ's for the full moon party, and other clubs on the island, and got us "Noi prices" when we went out.  This is a someone everyone who comes to the island needs to know and her club is definately a place you need to visit for a day. Lie down, and just chill out at. Really, make sure you visit her club and try some of her fruit shakes and her home made food. Her fish chicken soup and Beef massaman are to die for.

To get there, take the second right after the Bophut traffic lights at the Old Monkey Theatre Soi, and follow the orange flags and yellow signs.  Its 300 metres to the right after the golf course.

Facebook page is here.

Visit, chill out, make friends and enjoy Samui!!

Until next time,

Daniel

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Muay Thai (Thai boxing) - Koh Samui

I got me a free muay thai lesson!!

Muay thai, the national thai sport, is a martial art which is also known as the "art of eight limbs" or the "science of eight links" as it incorporates the use of strikes and blows from hands and feet, as well as elbows and knees.  Hence eight limbs as opposed to only feet or hands and feet used by most other fighting styles!

What I looked like, in my head!

While at the Gecko Club, I met a girl, Vivi, who was being trained by one of the muay thai masters here in Thailand and she offered to give me a quick lesson! :)

Yes, I totally got my arse kicked by a girl!  :)

It was actually really hard.  Not that I'm the best fighter in the world. I'm not.  Actually, the last time I was in a fight I got taken out in one punch and ended up with two stitches in my face. (Seriously, I did).  Well, actually, he was twice my size and I wasn't even looking at him when he hit me. So you couldn't call it a fight as much as a cheep shot from someone who didn't think I was funny when I'm drunk.  Honestly, I'm hilarious when I'm drunk.  Anybody who doesn't think I'm funny when I'm drunk is a douche.  He was obviously a douche. I mean, he hit someone half his size when they weren't even looking.  Douche. I hope he see's this.  He's some 'roided up idiot from Sydney who wears shirts too small for him and he doesn't have a neck.  I bet he has a small willy too...from all his roids!  HAHAHA  He's a douche with no neck and a small willy!!

Really, I am SO funny when drunk, I promise. :)  But wow, I'm digressing.

The stance was the hardest thing to get my head around.  You need to put your chin against your shoulder and hunch like an old man... for the whole time... (I'm actually not standing correctly in the photographs below).  It all got a bit too confusing after about 15 minutes and my masseuse arrived... and I get massages better than I throw punches, so I did that instead.

 And this is how you punch...

"Like this?"  "Yes, but punch like you mean it!!" 

"Like this???"

Folklore

The most popular folklore regarding muay boran is that of Nai Khanomtom.

At the time of the fall of the ancient Siam capital of Ayutthaya in 1767, the invading Burmese troops rounded up thousands of Thais and took them to Burma as prisoners. Among them were a large number of Thai kickboxers, who were taken to the city of Ava.

In 1774, in the Burmese city of Rangoon, the Burmese King Hsinbyushin (known in Thai as "King Mangra") decided to organize a seven-day, seven-night religious festival in honor of Buddha's relics. The festivities included many forms of entertainment, such as the costume plays called likay, comedies and farces, and sword-fighting matches. At one point, King Hsinbyushin wanted to see how muay boran would compare to the Burmese art lethwei. Nai Khanomtom was selected to fight against the Burmese champion. The boxing ring was set up in front of the throne and Nai Khanomtom did a traditional Wai Kru pre-fight dance, to pay his respects to his teachers and ancestors, as well as the spectators, dancing around his opponent. This amazed and perplexed the Burmese people, who thought it was black magic. When the fight began, Nai Khanomtom charged out, using punches, kicks, elbows, and knees to pummel his opponent until he collapsed.

However the Burmese referee said the Burmese champion was too distracted by the dance, and declared the knockout invalid. The King then asked if Nai Khanomtom would fight nine other Burmese champions to prove himself. He agreed and fought them all, one after the other with no rest periods in between. His last opponent was a great kickboxing teacher from Rakhine. Nai Khanomtom mangled him by his kicks and no one else dared to challenge him.

King Mangra was so impressed that he allegedly remarked, "Every part of the Thai is blessed with venom. Even with his bare hands, he can fell nine or ten opponents. But his Lord was incompetent and lost the country to the enemy. If he would have been any good, there was no way the City of Ayutthaya would ever have fallen."

King Mangra granted Nai Khanomtom freedom along with either riches or two beautiful Burmese wives. Nai Khanomtom chose the wives as he said that money was easier to find. He then departed with his wives for Siam. Other variations of this story had him also winning the release of his fellow Thai prisoners. His feat is celebrated every March 17 as Boxer's Day or National Muay Boran Day in his honor and that of muay boran's.

Today, some have wrongly attributed the legend of Nai Khanomtom to King Naresuan, who spent his youth as a royal hostage in Burma while Ayutthaya was a Burmese vassal. However, Nai Khanomtom and King Naresuan were almost two centuries apart.

Until next time,

Daniel

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Snorkelling and Wake Boarding - Koh Phangan

Yesterday, Noi, from the Gecko Club, Dan and Kim arranged for me to go on a day boat trip to Koh Phangan (where the full moon party is held) with Noi and her newly acquired French DJ's.  The day was incredible the sights were brilliant.

Are you jealous?

We drove our speedboat past an Island which is used for harvesting bird nests for birds nest soup, a delicacy here in Thailand.  There were all these red flags on bouys and on the island.  Those red flags mean "If you come on this island we will shoot you".  SHOOT YOU!!! They can't be that nice!!! Imagine if we had red flags around our Tim Tam factories!!

Our first stop was at a really shallow reef where we were able to snorkel and check out some coral and fish.  The coolest bit was feeding the fish bread.  I kept breaking it up and spreading it around me.  The fish kept biting me in their efforts to grab a feed which tickled like buggery!

Feeding fish break in the waters off Koh Phangan

Afterwards, we decided to have an international wake boarding competition.  Australia, England, France and Italy!! England, represented by Kim, won, hands down, however the rest of us had zero experience wake boarding and Kim got up first go and pulled off some jump and 180's.  English sure do show off when the actually get around to winning something don't they!! ;)

Kim doing her victory lap!!!

Kim and I after her stella board!! :)

The afternoon was spent finding venues for our French Dj friends to play at.  We found the Kangeroo bar (on the same beach as the Full Moon Party) which was nice, and we enjoyed some of the local beverages before heading home early as 2 of french boys turned quite ill and we needed to get them home.

After the Kangeroo bar the boat ride home was incredible!! We skimmed across flat seas, in full moon light, clear skies with millions of stars, and coming into Bophut there were chinese lantern's sailing into the air and fireworks shooting off all over the beach.  Absolutely surreal! :)

Our French DJ's,  Axel, Guilliam and Tony, who we followed around the island!

How to get there:

From Koh Samui, you can catch a ferry to Koh Phangan, however we hired our own private boat which will cost you about 30,000 THB for the day, which includes use of snorkel gear (but bring your own fins) and wake board.  They will also wait for you until you are done to bring you home to Koh Phangan

It was one of the best afternoons ever!!  If you can afford it (share with your friends) definitely book a private boat.  It will allow you to see a lot really quickly and boats are just fun!!

Thanks to Dan and Kim and Noi for organising a brilliant day!!  Looking forward to some more parties in Europe with you and our new DJ friends!!! :)

Until next time,

Daniel

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Challenge accepted: DJ tryouts and living the high life!!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you've thought to yourself "how did this happen"?  Well that happened to me yesterday.  I met two friends of a mutual friend, who commented on a post a couple of days ago, at a club here and had an absolutely BRILLIANT TIME!

Dan and Kim left me a message on a post (here) after getting word that I was in town for a few days and invited me to one of their mutual friends' club, the Gecko Club in the hills of Bophet in Koh Samui.  Before I go further, a word of caution, if you are trying to find this place DO NOT go to the Gecko BAR! The Gecko BAR is a tacky little hole which is really a Japanese hooker bar. The Gecko CLUB is a premises in the hills of Bophet (the fishing village) which has a pool, and serves up great drinks, brilliant food, with some phat beats.  The club is really simple, but that is part of the charm, and the views are amazing.  The club looks out over what seems to be half the island.

Kim managed to take this snap by accident.  This pool had three levels and I didn't see the third one!! I ended up underwater fully clothed, but true to Aussie form kept my beer above water!!

After my accidental dunk!! AHahahah

As it turned out, the owner of the Gecko Club, Noi, has a son who is a DJ, and Noi is quite well known on the island, very quickly sorting me out a penthouse hotel room at a local hotel for a few nights! Cha-ching!! That day she also happened to be auditioning some french DJ's for a spot at ... wait for it... THE FULL MOON PARTY!!  So my afternoon was spent swimming, eating, drinking, lounging, and listening to top quality DJ's all afternoon!  (If you go there try the chicken soup or massaman. To. Die. For.) The DJ's were quite good too, I must say!  Noi liked them as well and after hearing them managed to get them a few gigs on the island.

Not a bad place to test out your DJ skills.  Our French DJ's auditioning for Noi.

To make things even more interesting, the DJ's are also making a documentary on their (The DJ's) touring around the world, and now that they are playing at the Full Moon Party tonight, guess who's going with them!!  Ch-YEAH I AM!!!  We have a private boat taking Noi, the DJ's, a film crew and Dan and Kim across tonight, but before that I have been invited to spend the day on the boat sight seeing around Koh Samui!  How lush!!!

Kim looking very at home!!

Anyway, these guys have planned a huge day for me, so I have to run!!

Until next time!

Daniel

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Elephant riding on Koh Samui

I rode an elephant.... and picked fruit.... and fed it!!!

I nearly fell off, but I'm too awesome for that!!!!

My driver picking some rambutan off the elephant! 

 Once I started feeding it, the elephant wouldn't put his trunk down!!!

It was scary!! But I didn't piss myself... MUCH!!!

Until next time,


Daniel

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Climbing waterfalls in Koh Samui!

I just added to my list of man-skillz: Conquering waterfalls!!!

OK, its not the biggest waterfall in the history of the planet, but it was still fun!!  I found this waterfall and my driver managed to catch a few snaps!!  I didn't have my boardies on me so you'll just have to deal with me in my undies!!  Secretly you love it!

 Harder than it looks, but climbing backwards was a bit easier!

 Secretly, this guy wanted to do this... and his girlfriend wanted him too as well.  He didn't. Sad faces all round really!  

Wasn't a bad afternoon!! What else should I conquer??

Until next time!!

Daniel

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Thailand Challenge for Dan!!!

So, I've managed to get myself stuck on Koh Samui with no plans, no accommodation and no real way to get off the island until Monday.  So I need help in filling my days until then.

If anyone knows anyone on (or near) Koh Samui, Thailand, or has any ideas for what do to here please comment below or message me on FB or email.

To make things interesting, I will consider challenges if they are thrown at me.

I know too many cool people for this not to get potentially VERY interesting!!

Until next time,

Daniel

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My own private villa on Koh Samui!!!

Don't ever let me say I don't have a good life... ever!!

For the past couple of days a few people and I have been sharing a 5 room (all separate) villa in Koh Samui, right on the water!

The villa has a main bedroom with a massive bathroom to die for and has views to the beach (about 5 metres away!!).  All villas have double beds (but you can get an extra bed put in for 35 USD a night).  Each villa also has a split indoor outdoor bathroom with fancy showers gels, shampoo, conditioner and the like.  The rooms each have safes as well as a small desk and wardrobe and are, get this, cleaned twice a day! Everything! The room and the bathroom!!

The complex itself has a spa and infinity pool, but is literally right on the beach so you can swim in the salt water if you choose!  The lawn is raked daily, as is the beach, ensuring that there is no rubbish or sticks etc that has washed up over night! :).

Not only do you get a room which is cleaned twice a day, the staff leave you treats before bed and draw your curtains, and clean up after you.  They will also make you coffee and breakfast every morning, and by night they will cook you dinner at cost price of food + 15% which turns out to be much cheaper than local restaurants and much better quality.

Oh, did I mention I have staff.  That's right, 2 chef's, a head waitress and a gardener! No dishes, and they even bring me my gin and tonics!! They also remember how you like your breakfast and everything!! Loving it!    Here are some snaps from the villa!! We are dead set loving it here.  I hope I can buy me some servants while on Koh Samui!!

The entrance to our home for one week.

Inside the gate! This is all ours!!!

Master bedroom and view to ocean.

Master bathroom

Check that bath out!!  The bath in the master bathroom!!

Standard room

Indoor lounge/dining room

Dining room table just before dinner

Outdoor lounge area and the ocean! :)

Whatever, this is how we roll... Don't hate the players...

Until next time,

Daniel

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New Years Eve in Thailand! What should I do??

Here are my options:

Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan.

The description of the website is as follows...

Koh Phangan is a very special place, there are few places in this world where you can live out your desert island dreams of palm trees and white sand beaches, and still have a blinding night out at a rocking party every month. With the global notoriety that the Full Moon Party has gained as being one of the biggest and best beach bashes in the world, we get more than our fair share of hedonists gracing our shores. Each year the scene here grows with the ever-increasing number of party faithful that return, bringing their mates and spreading the vibe.

Haad Rin is home to the Full Moon Party and also houses about 3-5000 rather mad people; it is the island's nightlife capital and has Koh Phangan's biggest concentration of beach clubs that collectively put on the ultimate travellers get together. There are over 12 major sound systems running the length of Had Rin beach, catering for 8000 to 12,000 punters in low season, 15,000 to 20,000 in high season and up to 30,000 at New Year. Within this transient crowd of party animals some highly talented DJ's pass through, banging out their wares to the raging lunar explorers that have landed on planet party.

Or...

Spend the night at Nikki beach on Koh Samui.

We'll have a bed, have some cocktails, and dance the night away!  Images (below) are from their website...

What do you think I should do?

More importantly, what are you doing for New Years Eve??

Until next time,

Daniel

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